There’s No Such Thing As “Useless” Swag…

izuna_star_01.JPGAnd to prove it, here’s this month’s example. I got this cool Izuna: Legend of the Unemployed Ninja throwing star magnet a while back from Atlus USA’s princess of pr and fellow haiku slammer Amy Barklow and I did pretty much the usual stuff with it one does with magnetic goodies. Of course, my experience with press promos has always been a bit odd to say the least.

I initially stuck it to the fridge for a few days and that was fun… until I almost poked an eye out while stumbling around for a late night snack. Then, it ended up on the front door here until a neighbor thought someone was out to get me and called the cops. After taking care of the boys in blue (who knew Dunkin’ Donuts could be used as currency?), I was about to consign the darn pointy thing to a drawer somewhere when I heard the sound of shattering glass from the back bedroom…

Springing into action (yeah, right). I crept slowly to the bedroom door and peeked in. I vaguely recall letting out a “Holy Cthulhu, Batman!” before the knife-wielding thing lurched forward. I had to backpedal into the living room with something short, green and angry coming after me with murder on its mind. Fortunately, I happened to have that Izuna star in my quaking hands and having watched too many bad kung-fu flicks as a kid, my aim was true…

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One deft toss and that mutant ninja Squrtle that came crashing through the window seconds earlier was toast. Of course, those pastry-pacified peace officers I’d just sent away probably wouldn’t buy my story, but I had an easy out… a copy of The Joy of Cooking, circa 1965. Turns out frog does kinda taste like chicken after all. Thanks, Amy!

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