<\/p>\n

Synopsis:<\/strong> After RealityPalez and krystipryde, two of this season\u2019s most level-headed (read: employable) contestants, face off in an epic Twisted Metal<\/em> boss battle, the contestants must split up and endure the bane of every corporate retreat since 1981\u2014out-of-the-box team building! Dressed up like refugees from a drunken Zor Shrine reunion, two teams try to build an ice cream truck out of parts and bolts and haul it through a makeshift shooting range. Only one figures out that you can\u2019t pound a large screw into a small hole. Where the hell is Bob Villa when you need him? <\/p>\n

Dopey reality-show trope:<\/strong> Actually, episode two features two: The first is a stab at the ever-popular (and ever-ineffective) \u201calliance,\u201d as the abrasive Suzkaiden cozies up to the seemingly teflon RealityPalez, who\u2019s already pegged her as panel fodder. Then there\u2019s the manufactured shouting match: After their team flames out the build-a-car challenge in embarrassing and spectacular fashion, Asuukaa, burnNibelheim and krystipryde try to pin the whole mess on Suzkaiden\u2026who\u2019s sitting less than ten feet away. Passive-aggressiveness ensues, even if it can\u2019t touch the epic season-two bickering between War Princess and Big Fazeek (what can?). By the way, there\u2019s a better chance that Mitt Romney takes a job as a fry cook at the local BK next week than any of the contestants involved in the shoutfest win the competition. <\/p>\n

Jaw-dropping quote:<\/strong> \u201cShe\u2019s talking in Spanish. I don\u2019t understand Spanish.\u201d\u2014Asuukaa, trying to pin the blame for her team\u2019s failure on her new mortal enemy. Guest judge David Jaffe\u2019s stunned reaction says it all\u2014there\u2019s no backing out of this one.<\/p>\n

Close second goes to ninjanomyx, who actually uttered the phrase, \u201cI\u2019m ready like Betty\u2019s spaghetti.\u201d Ugh. Where\u2019s the freaking mute button? <\/p>\n

OK, not bad, actually:<\/strong> If you\u2019ve watched either of the first two seasons, you know that the killer metric the judges are looking for in the team-building exercises is leadership, and if you don\u2019t show it, you\u2019re basically screwed. (Anyone remember Luge?) burnNibelheim tells us, \u201cI\u2019m going to do whatever it takes to win the challenge.\u201d Great, since that apparently means assigning yourself the role as the team\u2019s dead weight, then failing to step up and stop the careening car wreck that was Suzkaiden and Asuukaa\u2019s mad construction catastrophe. The only thing that saves her from immolating herself off the show is Asuukaa\u2019s ad hominem rage. <\/p>\n

Careful viewers could have seen this one coming like Adele\u2019s Grammy sweep. In our first real look at Asuukaa, we see her storming out of last week\u2019s panel, bitching about the injustice of the judges giving Egoraptor the chance to talk himself out of getting tossed. (Maybe she should have been bitching about being saddled with a gamertag with two useless extra vowels). As any supervisor can tell you, being consumed with everyone else’s shortcomings rather than taking responsibility for your own is a red flag bigger than Sony\u2019s PS3 install base. Buh-bye. <\/p>\n

Leader in the Clubhouse:<\/strong> It\u2019s still RealityPalez, who has yet to even lose a challenge, much less the sheen off his perfect ivory teeth. But like the Miami Heat when LeBron and Bosh first hit town, his level of cockiness has already sent the overconfidence meter deep into the red zone. Dude, has no one told you that pride goeth before the judges\u2019 panel smackdown? Mark my words\u2014it\u2019s coming. <\/p>\n

On the Precipice:<\/strong> Yep, it\u2019s Suzkaiden, who manages to alienate all but a scant few of her housemates in the span of a single day\u2019s worth of expletives. Jaffe likes her passion, but she\u2019s gonna run out of sacrificial cows to toss before too many more episodes. burnNibelheim better watch her back.<\/p>\n

Next week:<\/strong> Ladies and gentlemen, Nolan North! It\u2019s also back out to one of the series\u2019 classic standby environments\u2014the military testing range, to do some Uncharted: Golden Abyss<\/em> themed antics. It seems that nobody\u2019s taken the time to learn how to properly work a slingshot\u2014quelle d\u2019ommage. Given that the trailer shows snippets of no less than four female contestants crying, you can bet the drama quotient\u2019s through the roof. Or that ninjanomyx farted. <\/p>\n