<\/p>\n

On Monday night, the Kentucky Wildcats won the NCAA basketball tournament, nailing a conclusion that 99 percent of America\u2014at least the part that doesn\u2019t live in Lawrence, Kansas\u2014had already penciled in as foregone. On Tuesday night, The Tester Season Three nailed a conclusion that 99 percent of the show\u2019s viewers\u2014including the part that does live in Lawrence, Kansas\u2014had pegged as foregone around episode 5. We\u2019ll try to dodge too many imminent spoilers as we plow through some final observations: <\/p>\n

That Starhawk<\/em> commercial was totally unnecessary:<\/strong> And convoluted. And a poor representation of what should be a fascinating game. We learned more about Starhawk<\/em> in the five minutes we watched the three finalists actually play it than we did in the slickly produced spot. Which one cost more to produce?<\/p>\n

Trick Questions Rule. And They\u2019re Not Just for SATs:<\/strong> Way back in sixth grade, I had an elementary school teacher who played an especially diabolical prank on her class in the interest of teaching a lesson about reading carefully and following directions. She handed out a sheet of paper that had 30 lines of instructions, the first of which said, \u201cRead everything before doing anything.\u201d Those who followed that advice correctly scanned down to the very last line, which said, \u201cIgnore lines 2-29, and sign your paper. You\u2019re done.\u201d The rest of the class\u2014about 20 of the 25 kids\u2014blithely blundered through the entire list, responding to instructions to do things like sing and shout your name aloud, turn your desk backwards and break all your pencils in two. <\/p>\n

Part three of the final challenge makes it obvious that AkilleezMight, Krysti Pryde and RealityPalez never had Mrs. Raphael. <\/p>\n

Are There Traffic Cops on the Tester Payroll? <\/strong> It\u2019s one of those nagging instances where disbelief refuses to suspend itself, kinda the same way Newt Gingrich refuses to face the fact that it\u2019s been over for months now: How does the show manage to magically transport each contestant from the final field challenge back to the room where the final videogame throwdown occurs in exactly the same amount of time? Because if even one of those cars gets held up by a red light or heavy LA traffic, the competition\u2019s unfair. <\/p>\n

Three\u2019s Apparently Still Company: <\/strong> The symmetry of this season finale seems more than a little too tidy. Akilleez builds a lead\u2014and blows it. Realty builds a lead\u2014and blows it. Krysti builds a lead\u2014and\u2026you can see where this is heading. Wouldn\u2019t it be interesting\u2014and by default more realistic\u2014if once in a while the finale were, like the Super Bowl used to be, a blowout? Say, if one of these years, a contestant who got stuck on an early part of the challenge walked into the final room to find the game over and the trophy already presented? Tell us that\u2019s not an entertaining post-production interview. <\/p>\n

Production Associate is to Quality Assurance as Administrative Assistant is to Secretary:<\/strong> It\u2019ll be at least a year before we learn whether this season\u2019s prize\u2014a year-long gig as a production associate\u2014is actually more of a meaningful gig than simple quality assurance. The show\u2019s producers went out of their way to use the new quality-speak job title as if it were somehow several steps removed from the name of the show that\u2019s actually offering it. Of course, Sony also once told us the PlayStation Network was completely secure and that the PlayStation 3 would totally dominate the current console generation, so forgive us just the teeniest bit of skepticism. Hope for Wilson Santiago\u2019s sake it proves true.<\/p>\n

Three seasons, no gender equity:<\/strong> In three straight seasons, a woman has made the Tester final three. And in three straight seasons, a player with a Y chromosome has walked off with the prize stash and the job. Yes, there are more male gamers and male game studio employees, but we\u2019ve now reached the point where if a woman wins season four–assuming there is a season four–it\u2019s going to feel like a scripted correction. <\/p>\n

In other words, it\u2019ll fit right in. <\/p>\n